My single Mom foster journey

Ok how come nobody told me parenting full time would be exhausting on all levels??  LOL, I am sure I would not have cared or believed them anyways.  I kept hearing the message, "this is going to be so hard but such a blessing and you may not see the blessing in the midst of it all".  So true!  My girl has a big heart and wants to heal, I see that because she writes a lot and talks to her therapists a lot.  She is working through her stuff in a healthy way and I am here to guide her to continue doing that! I am not able to share on here what her trauma is, that is her story to hell. What I will tell you is that I (those around me that are getting close to her) have 10 years of love and healthy attention to make up and give her, teach her to give and recieve, etc.  She has told her story to a couple of friends at school and that may have backfired on her so I am hoping that she continues to be brave with her story but remembers who it's appropriate to tell. ...

To say that this week has been interesting would be an understatement.  The emotions that I personally felt, were not emotions that I even anticipated having.  Every time I looked in the mirror this last weekend, I would cry.  Cry for a few reasons..For the little girl in my care, her hurts, wounds, unknown thoughts, etc,  for the 38 year old woman who has never had a child in her care for more than 8 hours (well aside from the teenager years ago, but that is a different situation, kinda) and had no clue how to give up her alone time and share it with a child that needs attention.  Ack!  I went into this knowing that is what she would need, right!?  Of course. Tears for the question deep within me, "do I really want to do this".  My clear answer kept popping up though when that thought would cross my mind...YES, yes I do want to do this. Yes it is a MASSIVE adjust...