My single Mom foster journey

I can't even begin to tell you how bittersweet this transition has been.  This journey, though hard, demanding, chaotic, dramatic...was and has been full of love, compassion and growth.  I don't really mark this the end of the journey at all, more so the beginning of a new story, for both my girl and I.  My prayer for her is to let the seed of love that was planted in her over the year, continue to grow and blossom.  She isn't in a very good area for that to grow right away, but I pray she will rise above that and be the love and light anyways. The last two weekends with her here visiting was good and also challenging.  Challenging because I could see the immediate changes within her.  She was inflammed, probably from the less than ideal food, stress, chaos, etc that she was thrown back into.  She had lost her motivation to be tutored and thrive within her education (for dreams to go to the Army and those seemed to have dimmed a bit).  She became...

I have been very emotional over the last 4-6 weeks as the transition approached.  I allowed so much to get the best of me and sometimes not in a good way.  I allowed my emotions to push me to say and act in insecure ways and I now know it was just my internal way of "dealing" with the unknown and major change that was unfolding.  I am confident that this journey has pushed me to grow in ways that I never would have and I am confident that I am a light in the world and allowing my emotions to dim that light, has been eye opening! Emotionally this is hard for a lot of reasons, but the biggest is watching her go from having the space to grow emotionally, mentally and physically, having her own quiet space to complete chaos, no boundaries, lack of supervision and unhealthy messages all around.  I can't help but be concerned for her continued growth.  But I have to trust that seeds were planted and pray that someday these messages and lessons will push and allow her...