Mothers Day

I can't believe how time flies!  So not a whole lot to update but wanted to at least start an update since it has been a while. Since the last post I had an AMAZING soul vacation to Mexico, my annual retreat.  It makes my heart and soul so happy to escape life here in the city and retreat with amazing women.  We get a chance to be quiet and connect.  While there I had time to reflect on my life and what I want and although this isn't a blog about me and my future, being a foster Mom has really helped push me to see what it is that my soul wants.  I am longing for deep connections and a lot slower paced life.  In time that will happen..

My first Mothers Day had me so emotional!  I woke up and couldn't help but be flooded with emotion thinking about how different my perspective on the day had changed, in just 8.5 months!  Thinking back to what it has meant to me to be a mother to an abused and neglected kid that had a really rough first 10 years of life.  Day to day I don't necessarily feel the impact this journey has been on me but when I sit down and think about the last 8.5 months, I am absolutely blown away and sometimes am brought to my knees with intense emotions.  Hence being emotional and crying randomly throughout the day.  I have so many people in my tribe that made me feel so special on my first Mothers Day and for that, I am forever grateful!  Cards, flowers, flower planting supply trip to Lowes, church and surrounded by sun and laughter.  Did I get annoyed and want more quiet at time..helll yes lol, but I wouldn't trade the day for anything!

The weekend was full of firsts for her; her first concert, Eric Church and her first race track experience.  We had a lot of fun...I didn't even make her do all her chores, I was too exhausted to push the subject!!  You know I am exhausted when that happens lol!!

The past 6 weeks has been full of ups and downs with her behavior and emotions, but rightfully so.  The transition is still in the works and she still has no idea what is next, how could one know how to act in that kind of situation. She continues to have unsupervised breakfast with Mom on Sundays.  Not sure when they will extend those into a few hours together, a full day, overnight, siblings, etc.  Obviously this is all new to me so I have no idea what to expect.  One thing I do know is that it is still my job to help keep her regulated on all levels and if you know her...you know that can be a challenge!

I have my concerns when she leaves and the environment where she will be living and going to school, but the therapist tells me that isn't my concern.  How can a parent not be concerned with that!?  I have to trust that if the courts move her home, knowing the area of town, schools, violence that will surround her...that everything will be ok and that is her journey, not mine. 

I will update the blog again soon because we have a team meeting this week and the big family update next week.  Until then, thank you for your prayers and love!!!  

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