How it started

I am blogging in hopes to connect with other foster parents, especially the single ones taking this on.  I am brand new to the community...as in, just going through training now.  Also to keep my friends and family in the loop in one convenient spot.

Let me back up a year to tell a little about how this journey started.  I can't remember exactly what the date was but it was around January 2017 when the initial though of, mentoring a child came to mind.  I never thought it would turn into a foster journey.

I knew God has placed something on my heart and it was to mentor a young girl that was Motherless, that needed a grown woman in her life.  I put the thought out there and figured I would let God and the universe guide me.

Months had gone by and the thought vanished from  my immediate brain but came back again around spring time and the thought turned into...oh I will seek single Dads that have a daughter, where the Mother is not present in her life.  Well I did meet a few men in that situation, one of which is now a dear friend and will always be a part of my life.  I did learn things about myself and the journey along the way, that is a story for another day or another blog rather LOL.

It was around September 2017 and I was reading my daily devotion and it spoke about being a good example for children and to consider mentoring, fostering or adopting.  So there it was again, God was placing it on my heart to start thinking about it again.  October was our annual CASA (I am an avid supporter and have been for about 6 years,  I also now sit on the Investors Board) breakfast/lunch and there was a family that was speaking about fostering adopting.  Now this was not normal for us to do...we typically had speakers talk specifically about being a CASA or a child that used to be in the system talk about how impactful their CASA was to them.   So this years speaker talking about fostering..hit me hard.  OK GOD, I WILL DIG DEEPER!  So I did.

I emailed the family that spoke at our event to find out where I should start.  They gave me a few places to reach out to.  Ministeries to check into for training.  Looking back, even though it's only been 5 months ago I don't remember the names of the organizations other than Project 127.  Meanwhile I had also called the county to find out the process.  I went to an informational meeting with Project 127 at the beginning of December and quickly felt a connection there with the ladies that were running the organization and one of the ladies was actually a single foster Mom as well...immediately felt a little at ease.  Knowing that I was not the only person on the planet that thought about doing this alone. 

Within a week I signed up for training that would start on Feb 2.  Just a lot of talk at that point, telling people, not knowing Gods plan but knowing I was going to walk the walk until he stops me.

Let's fast forward now, just to get you all caught up..
I have went through the first 12 hours of training, just last weekend.  It was one of the most emotionally exhausting things I have went through.  The training consisted of educating us on how the kids get into the court system, how the court process and timing of it goes, the emotional set backs the kids have, the distress ranging from emotional all the way to sexual abuse and everything in between.  We had to hear stories of these awful things kids go through in hopes to understand why these kids have such a hard time connecting, etc.  Things to expect and also to get us on the same page that the overall goal is to be a safe place for the kids while their parents go through the treatment plan that the judge requires because ultimately, the end goal is to reunite the kids with their family. 

There will be situations where the parent does not fulfuill the court requirements for whatever reason and eventually the kid will be eligible for adoption.  In that case if the parental rights are terminated, and there is no family that can take the kids for adoption, the foster parent will then get the opportunity to adopt the chld. 

Take a minute to think about that...if you are a parent reading this, could you imagine giving your baby away?  That your life is in a place where you couldn't or were not able to love your baby, so you give him/her away.   Most of us at times have feelings of not being important, not being loved and not being worthy, these kids are living that not only feeling that.  That is so heartwrenching.  These kids didn't chose to be unloved or treated bad and we as Christians are called to love on them and help them when we can.  So that my friends is why I am walking the walk.  I have the heart and the space in my home to help and I will continue this journey until God says otherwise.

Some emotions that I feel at a core level are; will I be able to connect with this child, will I be able to love her enough, will she love me, will I be able to open her heart to trust and love adults, how old, how young, in school so I can continue my "regular" life, or young enough that they don't remember or haven't endured years of abuse, will me being a foster Mom scare men away and I never find love?   It is overwhelming typing and thinking about all at once.  What I do know is this...God is in control and he knows the answers to all of those questions and concerns.  He smiles because he knows that I have come a long way and in the past, not knowing the answers in advance would have stopped me from moving forward with this journey, but here I am.  I have grown and moved through a lot of past hurts to get to a place where I feel healthy and strong enough to be a SINGLE FOSTER MOM.