Emotions are so real

So I finished the CPR/First Aid class this week.  I am glad to have that knowledge in my brain and the class done for 2 years.  Though I think that is something that should be done once a year. If you don't use the knowledge and skills on a regular basis, how likely are you to remember it?   The place that I did the course, Cool Compressions, said I could come back anytime in the next 2 years to sit in on a class for free as a refresher, great idea!  So, now I wait to get the certification in my email lol...always waiting!  I am learning patience here.

3 people in a matter of 18 hours asked how I was doing with the process.  Not, how is the process going or where in the process are you..but how am I doing.  Well I hadn't even thought of that for a while so I was so appreciative for the question.  I got so emotional thinking about it and even talking about it I got choked up.  I have done so much emotional work over the last few years and especially the last few months.  The people really close to me can attest to that.  I am not the same Cheri that I was even 6 months ago. So my response to that question is this...I am so ready to have the next part of the journey here.  I am as ready as I will ever be to have a child in my home, in my care.  I think about having her in my home and my heart pounds with joy and excitement.  I know when she gets here she won't be joyous and excited.  She is getting taken from her comfort zone and the only life she knows.  But the things I hope to teach her (and any foster kid that comes into my house of course) is, no matter where she came from, the things that she has endured...love is possible.  Forgiveness can happen with work, love is all around her and there is no cost to be loved unconditionally. 

People tell me they are nervous for me and my response is typically, "why"?  I know it is because they think my heart is going to break, spending time with a child only to have them taken away from me to go back home.  Ok think about this...as a parent, no matter what state you are in, would YOUR heart rip if your child was taken away from you because you couldn't care properly for her/him?  Of course it would!  My job as a foster Mom is to keep "your" child safe, warm, fed, loved and nurtured while you get better.  I am here to be strong for you and your child.  I don't think the child will be taken away from me, the child is given to me so that I can love her and keep her safe and I know I will have that bond in some form with her forever...whether she is with me or not.  So please don't be nervous for me, I am a strong woman, I know heartbreak, I have felt heartbreak.  I feel a sense of what I am getting into and aware of the blessings that are about to take place in the next steps.

To go through this journey and not think there will be heartbreak would be ignorant to say the least.  I know there will be heartbreak, I am expecting that.  However I know the blessings are going to be abundant!  I just finished reading The Noticer Returns and the message was amazing and resonates with me so much.  Do NOT be afraid of the steps to get through the journey.  Trust the guidance.  Make a difference with the children and people in your life to create the standard of life.  Do not stay in the darkness because that is what is "normal", create the light around you and in the lives of others.  Wow!!!

Tomorrow I get to head to Mexico for 5 days of relaxation, yoga, workouts that I enjoy, meditating on the beach and awesome food!  This trip could not have come at a better time, this is something that is so needed...some quiet time to welcome in some enlightenment and I know I will come back even better and stronger.  Please continue to pray for me and follow this journey. I am so excited to keep you all posted!  When I get back next week, I would anticipate that I will know when the home study will start.  xoxo