Support group

I went to the foster support group again yesterday..that was the 3rd time I have attended.  On one hand I love and appreciate the group, I get to hear real stuff that is going on with other foster/adoptive parents. On the other hand it is hard to hear mostly bad stuff.  We go around the room and talk about "good, bad and weird" stories.  Yesterday it felt like it was all negative. One gal is really struggling with her foster kids and doesn't have anything good to say about them.  That is tough for me to listen to.  I hear you, it is hard and they are a struggle, but can you try...TRY to see something positive in the situation.   But then again, this is the space to vent about it. I have no clue what is going on in that home so I can't judge, it is just hard for me in any situation to listen to negativity.  I thought to myself, aren't most of these kids sent to us with issues that we need to help them with, walk alongside them, TRY our hardest to be patient with them.  Maybe I still have rose colored glasses on but I hope those of you reading this that are close to me, will remind me of the blessings in the times of struggle.  

Ok anyways, I don't want to dwell on that.  The nice thing about the group yesterday was that it was small because of the holiday weekend and they paid a lot of attention to me.  I think before I was just a visitor and had no stories to tell, now I am creeping up on the home study so they were really trying to talk to me about things to be cautious of and questions to ask the case worker when I do get that call.  They are going to work on a list for me so that I have that, that is going to be super helpful.  Things I wouldn't think of, like last doctor visits.  LOL I saw myself so excited to get the call that I would just say yes.  They said, do not just say yes, be sure you can be a good parent in this situation, know your own triggers not just the childs.  We talked about sibling sets and I have heard numerous times "siblings are easier because they have each other"...every single person there said "not necessarily in foster children".  That tends to be opposite mostly because 95% of them have some type of attachement disorder so having a sibling can create a negative effect. 

At any rate, it is nice to have these people active in the journey and once I get the call, these folks will know first hand the struggles that I will need to vent about.  So ultimately, I am thankful for the group.   

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