The purpose

I sat at coffee with a friend the other day and as we are leaving the phone rings and I see that it is Bethany Foster Agency...HOLY CRAP was my first thought.  I answered and had an indepth coversation about a young girl that was in need on a placement that day.  She is 8, that is about all I can tell you about who she is becuase I didn't meet her and I am not at liberty to tell you her story.  At any rate, I was about to say yes and then I asked about her history with animals...turns out there was animal cruelty in per near past so I had to decline.  It was sad to do so, but I can't put my animals in deliberate danger.  I had to trust there was someone better suited for that girl. 

Meanwhile, the caseworker said that she knew a 10 year old girl in need of a home by the 4th.  She told me a little about her history and I asked if we could meet, to see if it was a fit for the girl and I. What I can tell you, I tihnk, is that she is the youngest of 6...so coming here would be a big change for her.  I know that from what I heard, this would be a good place for her.  So we set up the meeting for Tuesday late afternoon.

Can I just say that the emotions from that day were unreal..."omg I might have a kid today, I think I am going to have a kid today, I am going to have a kid today, oh I guess I can't help this kid today".  I felt like I had drank a quart of the strongest coffee then have it drained completely out of my veins.  I was completely high on adrenaline for a straight 2 hours.  I was thankful to have the first call happen so I knew what it would be like.  I can only imagine that every call will be just as emotional though.

So I wait and prepare my heart for the meeting on Tuesday.  She is very much on my mind every day, Saturday I go through a surge of "what in the hell am I doing, can I do this, am I ready for my life to change, etc".  I think the answer is yes, I was made for this...is anyone willing to push the "trouble" button,  I know my life is going to change forever by giving the gift of love and compassion to a little person that truly needs it. I didn't realize how emotional I was until Tuesday rolled around,  I cried quite a bit...mostly tears of "am I capable of this".  Then can I just say that the emotions that I felt when the case worker texted me to say they were 15 minutes away, well to say they were high would be an understatement.  Again, nobody warned me of this moment.  I don't think much can prepare you for it.  As I, the healthy adult am freaking out emotionally, all I could think was, "wow, how is she feeling?  She is on her way here with her case worker telling her that they are on their way to meet her potential new foster Mom".  I can't even imagine the abandonment, rejection, betrayal that is going through her mind, yet maybe a spark of possibility. 

They get here and immediately I connect with her smile.  I can feel her bright heart when she walked in the door.  The first thing she wanted to do was love on the pups, ok I am sold lol!  We talked for less than 5 minutes and she asks "can I see my bedroom", um yes sweetheart you can!  Follow me!  As I showed her the bedroom, I saw her eyes light up as as she looked around.  I showed her the bathroom that would be all hers, with the exception when we have company in town, and I think she would have thrown herself on the floor with happiness if she could have.  We then talked for another hour and it was apparent to me that she wanted to move in right then and there. She asked me what I like to do so we talked about things we could do together, we talked about house rules and expectations. She likes coffee and fruit so I know we will get along, lol! 

I texted the case worker after they left to let her know that I thought it went well and that I was going to sleep on it but was sure I would not change my mind.  Her response was "I thought it went well too!  When we got in the car Julia said to me "oh man, I forgot to ask if I can call her Mom!".  Wow!  The fact that she has a Mom that is present in her life, 5 siblings and she wants to call me Mom!?  Oh the adventure this girl and I are about to start!!!!

I will be calling the case worker today to confirm things, talk about details and then Julia will be moving in Saturday!!!  I know in my heart this girl will thrive over here.  The home, blessings, love and compassion that not only myself but my whole village can give her...simply amazing!  I know there will be tough times but again I think I was built for this. We are going to go shop to get her a bedding set that she wants, some food that she likes and maybe an outfit or 2 this weekend.  We will spend time getting aquainted.  I told her yesterday that she is safe here to talk about her feelings and there will never be judgement, that we respect others and feelings and will always talk things through. 

Here I thought I would be getting a young toddler and God knew I needed a 10 year old!  Continue to pray and stay tuned.  I will post updates as I can.  xoxo