Happy New Year

It has been quite the month!  The holidays were hard..not only for her but for me as well.  My Step Dad passed away suddenly the night that I updated this last.  Greiving with an emotionally unstable young lady was difficult.  She walked through it the best she knew how, crying and being sad about something I guess was never allowed at home.  For me to have the space to greive and process, was extremely difficult and I found myself in a depression for a few weeks. Thankfully I am pretty good with my self care and being able to focus on what needs to happen emotionally for me, that I was able to get through that.  Teaching her how to greive in a healthy way was super important and good for her to see as well. 

So the busy life started!  I had to race home to be with my Mom and lay him to rest, meanwhile Silas came to save the day and stayed at home with her so she didn't have to go to an unfamiliar house again that week.  I returned home in a funk and it was Christmas Eve eve.  I didn't have the energy, physically or emotionally to put together much of anything so Christmas Eve we shopped and just took it easy at home.  A sweet sweet friend brought over tamales and beans for us so I didn't even have to cook!!!  Christmas day we went to the movies then stopped at one of my besties house to say hello.  It was a good day and we definitely made the best of it!  

Then we did head to Idaho and had a great time visiting my Dad, aka Grandpa Bob lol!  It was her first time on a plane so that was super cool for her to experience. 

Meanwhile we continue to have our ups and downs, she talks and acts nothing like an 11 year old at times and experiences emotions an 11 year old should not have to experience.  Yesterday was the 90 day family/team meeting.  It was a large table with about 13 of us, 3 on the phone and probably about 8 missing.  That is where everyone comes together to talk about the progress of the kids and parents.  Of course kids were not there though. It was the parents (Dad didn't show up), attorneys, case workers, CASAs, therapists, foster parents (I was the only foster parent that showed up).  We had the largest support there by far which is a huge representation of how much potential my kiddo has to grow and heal, which one of the therapists stated she is by far the healthiest of the whole family. She has numerous people advocating and pushing her to heal and grow and that is evident.

The family hasn't made much improvement in 11 months and leaves the team wondering what the fate of these kids will be.  Mom is making an effort, taking some steps that she needs to get her kids back and that is HUGE and something we need to stay focused on and encourage her to continue with therapy and anything else that will be beneficial for her to be a family with them again.  She is getting her own place but she still has a TON of work to do to prove she is healthy enough on all levels; mentally, physcially, emotionally and financially before they will consider putting the kids back together, I THINK.  I shouldn't assume what the county will do, I have heard horror stories where kids are sent back into a toxic situation and things end up worse.  Which I believe that would be the case for my kiddo in the current or even near future situation.   My kiddo found this out, about Mom getting her own place, from her sister at the visit the other day, so in her head she is going home, I keep telling her we are a long ways from that decision and to focus on her Moms love for her and to know she is safe right now and not to worry about too much.  Be a kid, is the mantra for her!

MEANWHILE, back when the crap hit the fan at the end of November, I had committed to myself to take a trip alone for quiet me time.  That is where I am now.  In my bliss!!  A sweet coffee shop, fresh air pouring through the windows, nice music and absolutely no where to go and no time to be there LOL, in downtown San Diego.  I hear there is a blizzard at home, sorry friends, it's beautiful here today.   This is EXACTLY what I need to replish myself on all levels..emotionally being the most needed.  It is strange to be in a place with no one I need to race to see, noone with me and no time to be anywhere.  I might pass out at 5pm, just sayin! 

Please continue to pray, send love and encouragement our way.  We have a journey to continue down because I think she will most likely be with me until the end of the school year.  We shall see.  Continue to stay tuned and hug me when you see me!!  With so much love and gratitude today my friends!!!!

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