FINALLY some connection!!

We had another family update meeting 2 weeks ago and to everyones surprise,  tt went pretty good and looks/sounds as if Mom and the other siblings are starting to grow on their journey as well. Mom has her own place now (I think leaving Dad has helped her come out of her shell and the kids see that as strength) and has 2 siblings living with her now and so the transition back home has started!  I did have a special moment with her Mom, telling her that I am here to encourage and help her however I can.  She seemed appreciative of that.  There is a big language barrier but she understood me. So I will continue to encourage and help empower her. I have no clue what the next couple of months hold for the process but I know that my job remains; to keep her consistent, focused on school, in activities, respecting boundaries and connecting with other kiddos.  The bonds that she has built since in my home are pretty great.  She has grown so much, I can't even believe it. 

To think back to the end of last year and remember the space we were in, and to think about where we are now...wow!  For the first time since she moved in, the thought of her moving out made me get tears in my eyes and I even cried at the family meeting.  It's safe to say I am starting to connect with this child.  Even though we deal with getting irritated with each other and she has started to get grounded because of her sassy mouth, she appreciates the boundaries and the reminders to stay within them.  She even made a comment after the visit with her Mom a couple weeks ago, that her Mom was changing and starting to enforce rules and she felt really good about that, it made her feel safe.

We continue to have conversations that are tough for her but helps her continue to grow.  She has expressed that she is afraid to get attached to anyone because she will miss us all when/if she goes back home.  I have assured her that the people we have healthy attachments to are the ones that really help shape our character and that just because that person isn't active in your life on a daily basis (or unfortunately at all anymore), that person will have etched a design on your heart forever.  Healthy attachments are what we all need to grow and we have to know when that relationship ends, for whatever reason, that the love and connection that was shared will remain in our heart and soul forever.  She felt better after that.  We had a new neighbor move in and that is what prompted it, she really likes this young girl but was afraid to get attached to her...well too late, they are great buddies now!  So now she has a close friend on each side of our home and I could not be more thrilled!  The 2 girls are great influences on her and she has bonded with both families, not just the kids.  My hope is that these healthy friendships and bonds will carve a place deep within her so that when she is off on her own (without me) she will be drawn to people that will love, encourage and build her up rather than the friends and people that are total drama and make her question who she is... that is the last thing any kid needs! 

This week we had our monthly team meeting, consisting of the now 2 caseworkers, her attorney, social worker and my foster agency certification worker all came together to see how she is doing. And well, this is the first month where we get to report positive stuff.  She gets to start one on one visits with her Mom on Sunday, she is thrilled and so am I!  Praying that goes well.  Getting her back into her Moms place is still a bit off, not sure how long but they have to start with the one on one, unsupervised short visits before they place anyone else in the home.  They made mention of the summer and my response was suggesting to allow the transition of my girl and her other sister to be slow.  They were the ones affected the most, from the sounds of it all, and to put all 4 kids back into the home with the Mom, over the summer when things aren't on a routine could be detrimental.  So I THINK the goal is sometime end of summer. We shall see.  

Her caseworker signed her up for a summer camp that is just for foster kids.  I haven't heard from the organization yet and she doesn't know, so it will be a surprise.  But how cool and what an amazing experience. 

 Meanwhile we are planning a trip to Florida when school is out and we continue to do what we need to.  The bond between her and I has begun to really blossom and I really will be sad to see her go but happy for the family to be back together, if that is what is healthy.  I reassured her that I am not going anywhere and we agreed we would like to remain in each others lives.  She made me promise I wouldn't make her eat veggies when we are together, lol fat chance kid! ;)

I don't know if I mentioned in any past post, but after my San Diego trip, I had put my notice in for the end of the school year for her to be re-homed.  I felt that her time with me was coming to an end and that she could benefit from being with a family where she could see a healthy relationship, healthy sibling relationships, etc.  I think her spending time with the amazing respite family and also the neighbors, is helping with that though and I am not in a place where I want her to have to leave, start over in another home for a short period then go home to Moms.  The caseworker made a comment that they would rush her back home to avoid having to put her into another place so I think there was some relief that she can stay here until that happens. 

This journey has been so wild!  I can't even explain to you the things my heart has gone through and the ah ha moments that have helped me grow into my own self.  I pray that the lessons she learns in this home will stick with her forever!  

Side note, to update you on the Mom visit.  It dis regulated her terribly, the behavior and emotions that spilled out of her until bedtime was pretty intense.  The team and I will be working with Mom and her to get through these visits.