My single Mom foster journey

Just wanting to write a quick update so there isn't so much to write after the holidays.  After my last post, s*^& got real here with us!  That week was the hardest week for her and I emotionally.  It was centered around her sadness about her birthday (I have to believe that is truth).  To protect her, I won't give the details but without the amazing social worker in my life, I was at the end of my rope.  I am in search of a foster parent specific counselor for me to start going to, I have made an appointment with a psychiatrist for her to start going to and reevaluate some things for her, she is in respite care (certified babysitter for foster parents) this weekend so I can have some down time and I am attempting to plan a couple things here and there for myself and for both her and I to help keep us going.  Since that tough week, she has been good emotionally for the most part.  We experience a few good weeks then a horrible week so the roller c...

Well since the last post we have kicked off the Holiday season!  Halloween was really fun for her, she says that she has never got to go trick or treating so she enjoyed it, thoroughly.  Of course I limited the sugar she got to keep out of that massive amount that she collected lol.  What I have noticed is that she has enormous emotional issues after eating large amounts of sugar so that is limited here and I request that people that spend time with her limit that also.  I know we are programmed to reward kids with sugar and when spending time with them, why not give them sugar to show our love...well I don't support that here anymore at all.  With an emotionally charged kiddo with a lot of past trauma, the sugar does her absolutely no good then I am left to pick up her pieces or help her pick them up rather.  Thanksgiving was nice and relaxing, we had one of my best friends and her family over and had a nice meal.  She seemed to enjoy herself althoug...

I hesitate focusing on negativity in my life, 99% of the time and writing this blog is no different, however blog is about being real and sharing my experience with what is going on so that people in my life know the latest and for others that stubmle across this in hopes to be a foster parent gain knowledge and understanding.  If you have been or are a step parent you can relate with all this I am sure...parenting someone elses child, especially ones that have trauma, is REALLY hard. It is really no different with the exception that there isn't any coparenting so you are left with the burden AND joy of recreating habits, thinking patterns, boundaries, discipline, etc alone.  Can you believe I can't even get her hair cut though?  The parents are holding on to their last bit of control of her..so whenever they are ready to release, that may be the first thing we go do! That and pierce her ears! Over the last few weeks since I last posted, there have been some changes in o...

Ok how come nobody told me parenting full time would be exhausting on all levels??  LOL, I am sure I would not have cared or believed them anyways.  I kept hearing the message, "this is going to be so hard but such a blessing and you may not see the blessing in the midst of it all".  So true!  My girl has a big heart and wants to heal, I see that because she writes a lot and talks to her therapists a lot.  She is working through her stuff in a healthy way and I am here to guide her to continue doing that! I am not able to share on here what her trauma is, that is her story to hell. What I will tell you is that I (those around me that are getting close to her) have 10 years of love and healthy attention to make up and give her, teach her to give and recieve, etc.  She has told her story to a couple of friends at school and that may have backfired on her so I am hoping that she continues to be brave with her story but remembers who it's appropriate to tell. ...

To say that this week has been interesting would be an understatement.  The emotions that I personally felt, were not emotions that I even anticipated having.  Every time I looked in the mirror this last weekend, I would cry.  Cry for a few reasons..For the little girl in my care, her hurts, wounds, unknown thoughts, etc,  for the 38 year old woman who has never had a child in her care for more than 8 hours (well aside from the teenager years ago, but that is a different situation, kinda) and had no clue how to give up her alone time and share it with a child that needs attention.  Ack!  I went into this knowing that is what she would need, right!?  Of course. Tears for the question deep within me, "do I really want to do this".  My clear answer kept popping up though when that thought would cross my mind...YES, yes I do want to do this. Yes it is a MASSIVE adjust...

I sat at coffee with a friend the other day and as we are leaving the phone rings and I see that it is Bethany Foster Agency...HOLY CRAP was my first thought.  I answered and had an indepth coversation about a young girl that was in need on a placement that day.  She is 8, that is about all I can tell you about who she is becuase I didn't meet her and I am not at liberty to tell you her story.  At any rate, I was about to say yes and then I asked about her history with animals...turns out there was animal cruelty in per near past so I had to decline.  It was sad to do so, but I can't put my animals in deliberate danger.  I had to trust there was someone better suited for that girl.  Meanwhile, the caseworker said that she knew a 10 year old girl in need of a home by the 4th.  She told me a little about her history and I asked if we could meet, to see if it was a fit for the girl and I. What I can tell you, I tihnk, is that she is the youngest of 6...s...

Nothing really to update...I was put on the call list the 6th and here I wait.  I am not sure what you all have experienced in life up to now, but the anticipation and the emotions of the unknown right now are surreal.  Everytime I sit on the couch in silence, take a walk with the dogs, sleep in (which in my world is like 7am), I think to myself...I had better enjoy this while it lasts.  A part of me is so nervous to give up the life that consists of taking care of me, my needs and the needs of animals.  But a greater part of me is so excited to be a part of something much much bigger.  To help the life of someone that truly needs my help.  Whether that is for a short time, extended time or forever, what an absolute blessing!!  ACK!!!!!! A few weeks ago, a few close friends came together to show me their love, support and to bring me some stuff that will be helpful in the childs first 24 hours in my home.  I couldn't be more grateful for the supp...