My single Mom foster journey

We had another family update meeting 2 weeks ago and to everyones surprise,  tt went pretty good and looks/sounds as if Mom and the other siblings are starting to grow on their journey as well. Mom has her own place now (I think leaving Dad has helped her come out of her shell and the kids see that as strength) and has 2 siblings living with her now and so the transition back home has started!  I did have a special moment with her Mom, telling her that I am here to encourage and help her however I can.  She seemed appreciative of that.  There is a big language barrier but she understood me. So I will continue to encourage and help empower her. I have no clue what the next couple of months hold for the process but I know that my job remains; to keep her consistent, focused on school, in activities, respecting boundaries and connecting with other kiddos.  The bonds that she has built since in my home are pretty great.  She has grown so much, I can't eve...

The last 6 weeks have been really good!  Leaving for the weekend in January was the best thing that I could have done for myself and my girl.  I was to the point of breaking at that point and I know she felt it, we have even talked about it recently and how glad we both are to see this massive emotional shift in us both.   We get along great and I have a renewed compassion and empathy for her stuff when she talks to me... unless it has to do with 11 year old pre hormonal girl drama and talking about boys, that stuff is really annoying. Sorry Dad LOL.   We are able to have some good conversations and I recognize her ability to talk about her emotions and she is starting to be able to shuffle through the emotions, meaning she knows how to recognize if she is hurt, sad, mad, frustrated, etc.  Where as before she had no clue.  I praise her often about how I see how much she is growing up and emotionally doing so well.  She agrees and really enjoy...

It has been quite the month!  The holidays were hard..not only for her but for me as well.  My Step Dad passed away suddenly the night that I updated this last.  Greiving with an emotionally unstable young lady was difficult.  She walked through it the best she knew how, crying and being sad about something I guess was never allowed at home.  For me to have the space to greive and process, was extremely difficult and I found myself in a depression for a few weeks. Thankfully I am pretty good with my self care and being able to focus on what needs to happen emotionally for me, that I was able to get through that.  Teaching her how to greive in a healthy way was super important and good for her to see as well.  So the busy life started!  I had to race home to be with my Mom and lay him to rest, meanwhile Silas came to save the day and stayed at home with her so she didn't have to go to an unfamiliar house again that week.  I returned home in a...

Just wanting to write a quick update so there isn't so much to write after the holidays.  After my last post, s*^& got real here with us!  That week was the hardest week for her and I emotionally.  It was centered around her sadness about her birthday (I have to believe that is truth).  To protect her, I won't give the details but without the amazing social worker in my life, I was at the end of my rope.  I am in search of a foster parent specific counselor for me to start going to, I have made an appointment with a psychiatrist for her to start going to and reevaluate some things for her, she is in respite care (certified babysitter for foster parents) this weekend so I can have some down time and I am attempting to plan a couple things here and there for myself and for both her and I to help keep us going.  Since that tough week, she has been good emotionally for the most part.  We experience a few good weeks then a horrible week so the roller c...

Well since the last post we have kicked off the Holiday season!  Halloween was really fun for her, she says that she has never got to go trick or treating so she enjoyed it, thoroughly.  Of course I limited the sugar she got to keep out of that massive amount that she collected lol.  What I have noticed is that she has enormous emotional issues after eating large amounts of sugar so that is limited here and I request that people that spend time with her limit that also.  I know we are programmed to reward kids with sugar and when spending time with them, why not give them sugar to show our love...well I don't support that here anymore at all.  With an emotionally charged kiddo with a lot of past trauma, the sugar does her absolutely no good then I am left to pick up her pieces or help her pick them up rather.  Thanksgiving was nice and relaxing, we had one of my best friends and her family over and had a nice meal.  She seemed to enjoy herself althoug...

I hesitate focusing on negativity in my life, 99% of the time and writing this blog is no different, however blog is about being real and sharing my experience with what is going on so that people in my life know the latest and for others that stubmle across this in hopes to be a foster parent gain knowledge and understanding.  If you have been or are a step parent you can relate with all this I am sure...parenting someone elses child, especially ones that have trauma, is REALLY hard. It is really no different with the exception that there isn't any coparenting so you are left with the burden AND joy of recreating habits, thinking patterns, boundaries, discipline, etc alone.  Can you believe I can't even get her hair cut though?  The parents are holding on to their last bit of control of her..so whenever they are ready to release, that may be the first thing we go do! That and pierce her ears! Over the last few weeks since I last posted, there have been some changes in o...

Ok how come nobody told me parenting full time would be exhausting on all levels??  LOL, I am sure I would not have cared or believed them anyways.  I kept hearing the message, "this is going to be so hard but such a blessing and you may not see the blessing in the midst of it all".  So true!  My girl has a big heart and wants to heal, I see that because she writes a lot and talks to her therapists a lot.  She is working through her stuff in a healthy way and I am here to guide her to continue doing that! I am not able to share on here what her trauma is, that is her story to hell. What I will tell you is that I (those around me that are getting close to her) have 10 years of love and healthy attention to make up and give her, teach her to give and recieve, etc.  She has told her story to a couple of friends at school and that may have backfired on her so I am hoping that she continues to be brave with her story but remembers who it's appropriate to tell. ...